8 Silly but Important Things to Always Choose

1. French fries over Fruit. Are you kidding? This is a no brainer. You can’t make crispy golden french fries at home, but fruit? Fruit you can get anywhere. Yes, you’ll feel like a heifer for maybe an hour after you consume all of it but at least in the moment, you enjoyed every freaking second of those delicious oily fattening awesome things. Fruit? Get that shit at the market and eat it at home. When you’re out, indulge yourself.

2. Unsubscribe. I’ve recently purged myself from online shopping after realizing about 70% of the emails I accrue on my personal account were from Forever21, Groupon, Sephora, the like. It feels a bit insipid when now I wake up and I’ve got 18 emails vs. 60+ but at least I’m not wasting precious time deleting meaningless “SALES” and breaking my wallet. Now each morning I focus on positive affirmations from my virtual yogi on YouTube and success stories shared on Gates Notes.

3. Bring a book wherever you go. Apps on our phone are endless as such are puzzle games with infinite levels. (Trust me I work in gaming, I know how many levels there are ready for the player to trek through, and beyond that there will always be another map, another dungeon, another challenge). But the greatest lesson you absorb is those from stories and historical documentation. I’ve learned resilience through Marcus Aurelius and strategy from Sun Tzu, valuable knowledge which otherwise wouldn’t have been taught via mobile games.

4. Chop it off. In 2013, I got bangs that basically ruined my life. Or so I thought. In retrospect, I was young and naive; time felt longer than what it really stood for and I cared way too much how “swoop” my bangs were. The stylist had cut it too short and I swore everyone could see the extra centimeter he took off. 5 years post trauma, I’ve now gotten the shortest haircut I’ve ever underwent and it’s been the best decision of my life. Time will tick as hair will grow. So choose to get that haircut you’ve always wanted to try out. If it sucks, it’ll grow back in 6 months. And if it shines, you’ll love eliminating the fear of going shorter.

5. Keep a notebook & pen. First, always have a pen on you because when you fly, you don’t want to be that person bothering your neighbor for theirs to fill out a customs form. Second, notebook & pen helps jot down your consciousness. I don’t know how many great ideas have gone out to the wild to never return because I failed to remember what they were by the time I got back to my laptop.

6. Daily Notecard Trick. This is courtesy of Tim Ferris. He jots down things that must be accomplished by the end of that day on a notecard and once they’ve all been finished out, he rips up the card. It’s so cathartic to start my day with goals then completing each task and finally being able to toss the card as a part of the exercise.

7. Run on your own damn time. Never wait on anyone not worth waiting on. If you’re just sitting there waiting for the phone to ring or someone to eat with- go enjoy time alone. Cook something healthy and enjoy it with FRIENDS on Netflix. Time is too precious spent waiting on others.

8. Never commit to lukewarm. I don’t know how else to explain passion as an extreme. This an important lesson I learned from mommy dearest. If you’re at a store and you see this red dress but it just makes you feel 50% while you put it on, DO NOT BUY IT. No matter how many accessories pieces you dress it with, it won’t make you feel 100. Buy the dress if it makes you feel like hard 10, otherwise, that garment on the hanger will only sit in your closet collecting moths and dust. This philosophy can be applied to most life decisions. The dress was just a recent example I had whilst shopping with Momma bear.

You should get rid of your family & friends

So the title is a bit jarring. I totally get it. If I had seen an article that tells me in order to be more successful or improve myself, I need to trim out the closest network in my life, I’d probably think the writer’s f-king crazy and move on to the next post.

But the reality is, when I overheard this in a TEDtalk VOD, I couldn’t resist listening till the end.

Menon goes on to share what strong ties are: family & friends, and how we need to grow our weak ties (people we’ve just met) to create a wider network. That’s because our strong ties are redundant and familiar. The weak ties opens up this much larger canvas of possibilities. This goes on to a larger lecture I heard on “getting out of our comfort zone.” We all have this safe bubble that feels nice and warm, but is it doing us more harm than good? We all have aspirations to be more successful, be more adventurous, do more excitement. So I decided to put this new philosophy to work.

I went to graduation celebration just last night. There were the usual suspects I knew from the party. Of course, I targeted the ones who invited me and stuck myself to their hips for the first hour of the party. But I knew I never reached beyond that comfort zone. Then a girl that I’ve always known through the same mutual friends but rarely bonded with was within eyeshot. I really made the effort to say hello and we started connecting. I found out about a new job she’s adoring, her newfound singleness etc..

By the end of the night, we’ve made plans to hang out 1:1.

She and I might have nothing in common now, but we could find that helpful in creating this new social universe and cross pollinate with our own social circles to make this much larger world to tap into. To be totally honest, I dug a little deeper and knew that I was always a bit intimidated by her. She was this gorgeous thin LA stereotyped girl. Not in a bad way, but this Venice-style resident always seemed like she’d never be interested in me. But did I even try? She was so welcoming last night but I never would’ve know about a new friendship had I not trekked outside this safe bubble I blanketed myself in.

I’ve only taken a first step but the reward has been more than generous. I caved to my fears before but now I’ve thrown that heavy weight off and made a new acquaintance. My first chapter into discovering more weak ties & shedding off this comfort zone.