Kylie Jenner Made Me Do It

Before you jump into thinking I got massive lip injections and painted a perfectly contoured face, PAUSE. She’s more than just her flawless figure. Let’s take a step back and talk about her E! episodes on Snapchat.

As much hate as that girl’s got laying around, she sure knows how to kick it in the dust and promote positivity. In the most recent episode I found myself attached, watching her and two of her friends sharing the notion to not complain for 24 hours or rather begrudgingly try to not complain.

I took it upon myself to test out the joy and peacefulness my day would be like if I did not complain all day. I radiated sunshine, unicorns, and butterflies and even encouraged one of my best friends to embark on this 24 hour journey with me. I ostracized negativity spewed by my coworkers, and removed myself from any situation that would irritate me.

The outcome?

Hmmm, let’s say, I would basically never do it again. The entire day, I felt like I had bottled up anger from trying not to release all the little things that bothered me. Sorry, but I’m human. It feels cathartic and amazing to cuss and bitch about things. I can’t simply fall into the whole “zen” and “kumbaya” thing and magically find myself amazingly balanced with life. You know what balance is? Putting up with bullshit and being able to vent about it for 2 minutes. That’s balance.

The 24 hour journey left me feeling cheated. Like I tortured myself to be something I’m not. I am flawed human being with a great life that occasionally has some curve balls thrown at it.

No thanks Kylie. I’ll stick to your nude lip suggestions.

 

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Landing My Dream Job Ruined My Life

Everything in life has an opportunity cost. This is the only thing I retained from my econ class back in college.

You make a choice in life and lose out on some other route you could’ve taken.

Here’s the full investopedia definition:

Opportunity cost refers to a benefit that a person could have received, but gave up, to take another course of action. Stated differently, an opportunity cost represents an alternative given up when a decision is made. This cost is, therefore, most relevant for two mutually exclusive events. In investing, it is the difference in return between a chosen investment and one that is necessarily passed up. 

Though it may not have seemed like two mutually exclusive events at the time, I now reflect and regret the road I took. Three years ago, I fell into a slump for a lack of a better term:

  1. I plateaued in my career falling back on a family business after I no longer felt I could grow in my previous role.
  2. I had a great boyfriend I was totally ungrateful for. He catered to my every need and I took him for granted. The silly thing about stupid young love is you never appreciate “the one” that’s always there- it doesn’t register as fun, but rather boring and safe. 
  3. Nothing thrilled me. I felt I had no passion and no specialized talent which resulted to no direction.

These factors played into a formula where I jumped at the opportunity when a buzz came through my phone pinging me for a position at a dream role. Okay, so it wasn’t a DREAM ROLE, but it was fucking brilliant. Work on the westside where the air is crisp and people are gorgeous, market for a licensed product that the whole damn world knows (hint: they now own marvel AND star wars), and of course eventually move out to westLA where people not only wear yoga for class but as a way to show off their glorified yoga bodies at brunch.

Three years have passed as swift as winter in California, and I find myself sitting at the room where it all started. But it feels different in this chair now. The chair collecting dust at my parents house. Though, I’ve grown up, I reevaluate and realize I’ve lost close contact with all my friends. The oh so perfect boyfriend fell out of the picture after I broke up with him. I’ve literally created a rift between my closest family, and I’ve made choices that have only alienated me from the ones I love more and more.

I’ve jumped ship and gone to an even better company. I have a not so terrible condo I now own 2 miles from the closest beach. I somehow make enough to drive a BMW,

but

I, I, I… 

The opportunity cost of having all those I’s. Was it worth it in the end? I’m sitting here wondering, if I feel this lonely and sad now, what was the point of landing my dream job?