Forgetting you is like rolling down the window driving on the coast and not smelling the musky salt water.
Forgetting you is like tapping on the table with my fingers and not hearing a sound,
it’s biting into an apple and not having a memorable sweetness explode on my tastebuds.
Forgetting you is like waking up and not seeing sunlight bleed through my curtains,
it’s touching cotton without feeling the soft warmth of a coat in an autumn night.
Forgetting you is forcing myself to forget the 5 senses. If I can smell, hear, taste, see and feel – you are there.
The way your scent is everywhere on my pillows and old jackets.
The way your old records are sitting on my shelf giving me a glimpse back into our old life when you’d take my hand and swing my body around to the tunes.
The way your silent breathing through the night calms me and helps me sleep.
The way your body felt in the morning when I climbed closer to steal your warmth.
The way your tongue tasted minty and aged after you’ve brushed your teeth from drinking whiskey all night.
Even when you aren’t here, all my memory stayed.
Forgetting you is like holding onto what’s familiar,
It’s expecting what was there to always be there.
My five senses will always hold you in memory, even when you aren’t here.
“I love that word. Forever. I love that forever doesn’t exist, but we have a word for it anyway, and use it all the time. It’s beautiful and doomed.” – Viv Albertine
There was a time when you were my here and now
I thought you were my person
Like how everyone is destined to have their own unique soul mate
The other half I saw myself in a cliche future with
Reading on a rocking chair staring out to nature when we’re old and weathered
Forever meant I would think about you every second I had to myself
Those sacred moments I invented about us together
You were the air that hugged me tight as I walked in the park
The dream I wasn’t willing to let go even as you started slipping through my fingers like when you’re trying desperately to grab onto water
That means here and now
That means tomorrow and beyond
But you’re not here
And forever doesn’t exist
It’s a romanticized fantasy
An impossible feat
Like desperately trying to grab onto water
Sleep on AstroTurf in the dead of night with your two best friends
one with the hiccups
one laughing her ass off each time the boy hiccups.
but also 6 years old
Escape reality because your time together makes the world stop
The stars pepper the sky looking down at you from their vantage point
smiling and shining at your pure joy in each other’s company
A lot of innocence slip away as we enter our late twenties
but when you’re laying uninhibited staring into the night
A piece of your innocence revisits
bringing fondest memories of forgotten friendship and youth.