This is what happens when I don’t have my coffee

There’s a storm raging inside of me.

I don’t know how to explain it. I want to cry it out as a form of release but no tears can be shed. Instead, I feel void of any emotion. I drove by a four way stop intersection earlier and wanted the perpendicular car to hit me. I want to feel something…anything.

What’s wrong with me? I swear, I am not trying to end my life. I just want to feel again.

Everyday has become the same monotonous routine, another etching on my imaginary wall of countless days until what? What do we have to count down for? Every year is the same – New Year, summer… zoom it’s Christmas day again. Days go by faster as we get older, but they’re all the same. DAMN. THING.

I’m tired.

I’m done.

Have you ever felt like this before?

Someone please explain what this is. Is this a rite of passage into adulthood? Let me guess, you’re going to try and tell me it gets worse. Responsibilities will start to stack up while more and more loved ones leave without closure in our lives. We are left bare boned, empty, and lost.

There’s a storm raging inside of me.
What was once a quiet, delicate cloud is now festering into something daunting and wild. I am afraid that I am unable to cry this one out… which scares me far more because this is the calm before the storm.  



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